


like death's soft sting

by ultraviolence



Category: God Eater (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Confessions, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Spoilers, Shower Sex, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 02:52:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17716661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultraviolence/pseuds/ultraviolence
Summary: A snapshot, of a day in the life of Hiro and Julius: college students, roommates, and something more. Or, Valentine's Day spent in a coffee shop together, and more afterwards. AU.





	like death's soft sting

**Author's Note:**

> I- I just realised that I'm really into this ship now. I've not yet read the manga (too much to read! how do you manage), but I decided to follow the manga's naming convention because "hey, you" is a really unconventional way to address someone all the time, especially someone close to you. lmao. Also, I'm still a baby in the game so no spoilers! I hope I got things right. 
> 
> Wildly inspired by [this song here](https://open.spotify.com/track/2vAts2sr7wl8NJwd8qmUEo?si=eKk2yZ3QRxOsGFwbP3luzA). 
> 
> Happy early Valentine's!

In his dreams, he saw wastelands ravaged by godlike, monstrous creatures. 

In his dreams, he saw a world nearly without hope, a world where humanity has to fight to survive, a world where dreams are as rare as a blue sky.

In his dreams, he felt…terrible dread, a sickness in the stomach, a sadness that spreads through his body like a virus, like cancer, lethal and unstoppable, and in the centre of it all, a boy, a boy he knew well—

“…mui. Kamui. Wake up,” 

Light, and a familiar voice wakes him up from slumber. Blinking away both the sleep and the apocalyptic, strange dreams—he could still taste dust from the ruined world in his mouth and the familiar boy there somewhere, too—he tried to say something, anything, but he still tasted ash and destruction in his mouth, and as a result, he could only lay there in the sofa where he curled up and fell asleep, the morning light falling on him in striations. 

There was a book on his chest, a _text_ book, and it all comes back to him then—he was studying and trying to pull an all-nighter before he fell asleep. 

“I thought I’d lost you forever,” the familiar voice said, evenly, the owner of it coming into view. 

Julius Visconti had been his roommate for nearly two years now, and it never failed to impress Hiro just how _organised_ the other are. A morning person, he’d always woke up at dawn without fail, every single day, even on weekends, and at exactly seven thirty sharp, he always had his morning tea. 

He is also an all-around star student, majoring in astrophysics or something just as awe-inspiring and obscure, with a minor in art history. 

“N- no,” Hiro stutters, then clears his throat. “I had a dream. Like, a really weird dream.”

“What about?” Julius said, raising an eyebrow, looking down at him. If it was possible, Hiro thought, privately, he was even more impressive up close.

Hiro immediately furrowed his eyebrow, trying to remember his dreams, but they were receding quite fast from memory. 

“There was…a devastated world. Monsters. Godlike things. Beings, I suppose? No, they’re monsters. And then—“

Julius waited for him to continue, even if it looked like he had something urgent to say, one hand on his hip. 

“Then there’s _you_ ,” Hiro told him, feeling confident in at least this part, though part of him did it to tease him. In return, Julius let out a long sigh, which is his version of rolling his eyes.

“You watched too much action movies, Kamui,” he said, shaking his head. “Should I remind you that you have a world history quiz today? Do you, perhaps, want to get up now while you still had time to prepare?”

“I’m not _joking_ ,” Hiro said, whining only slightly. “Also, I’ll get up after you give me a morning kiss.”

Julius gave him a glare, his face turning serious, as if it wasn’t serious enough already. 

“Brush your teeth first, get ready, then you can have a morning kiss.”

“Stingy,” Hiro said in return, frowning slightly. “It’s true, I saw you in the dream. So maybe…kiss?” He said, making an innocent expression and gesturing at his lips. “Just a little?”

Hiro is tempted to just pull him down and kiss him, but Julius looked serious enough. Besides, it’s _different_ , and he likes it when the older boy initiates things first sometimes. Despite his cool persona and taciturn demeanour, Julius is actually quite shy when it comes to…things regarding more personal, intimate matters.

Which probably explains why that their relationship wasn’t clearly defined yet.

“Fine,” Julius yielded with a sigh, lowering himself to a kneeling position. “Just a little.”

Hiro smiled, turning to face him, and Julius did kiss him on the lips, hands cupping his face. He always tasted exquisite, the older boy was, and this morning, Hiro could taste the Earl Grey tea—the one tea he liked having on mornings—on his lips.

“You should really probably brush your teeth, Kamui,” Julius told him after he pulled away, wrinkling his nose slightly. 

“Oh, come on,” Hiro responded, giving him a mock-pout, before pulling himself to a sitting position. “Stop pulling my leg, Julius.”

Julius gave him what could only be described as The Look, after he straightened himself up, heading towards the dining table adjacent to the “living room” where Hiro had fallen asleep. Their apartment was small—well, normal for undergrads—but it had everything they needed. 

“I am not pulling your leg. You tasted like what you ate for dinner. Was it chicken?”

He dished out, so casually, all the while pouring tea for himself and reading his tablet for news of the day. Hiro took a good look at him—the dreams still made him feel kind of disoriented—and the room, all bathed in the morning’s white light, swinging his leg absent-mindedly. 

“You must be a psychic,” it was Hiro’s turn to tease him, and he did so with a certain glee, pulling out his best impression of an annoying voice he learnt from Romeo. “Oh, Mister, will you give me a free reading of my future?”

Julius furrowed his brow, shifting his attention towards him from across the room, looking sufficiently annoyed, at least by his standards. Hiro gave him an innocent look, complete with a smile.

“I sensed a disturbance in your GPA if you didn’t stop teasing me and start getting ready,” he said, calmly sipping his tea.

“That’s really mean,” Hiro told him, frowning again, and Julius gave him Another Look. “Alright, alright, I’ll get ready,” he told him, holding his hands up, “stop giving me That Look.”

“What look?” Julius said, and Hiro immediately knows that he was playing innocent, just like what he did a moment earlier. People had always thought of him as someone serious with no time for jokes, but after Hiro gets to know him…well, he’d say that Julius was a fast learner that surprised even Romeo, though he’s got his own brand of jokes that only people who was close to him would get. “We’re going to be late, you know that?”

“I’m going, I’m going,” Hiro said, lifting himself up from the couch, surrendering to his demands. Julius gave him an approving nod and the ghost of a smile, and that was enough to set his heart racing wildly, but even though the memories of the dreams had mostly disappeared, the impression they leave remained.

And he’s afraid of losing him.

“You…you won’t go anywhere, right?” He said, after only a few steps in the direction of the bathroom. “Julius?”

The older boy looked confused for a moment, as if Hiro had just asked him if he’d grown wings, but he nodded, still holding his cup of tea.

“Where else would I be?” He said, in return, and Hiro fantasised he could hear the subtlest hint of affection bleeding into his calm voice. “Now go, or we’re going to be late together, and you’d have to make me dinner for the next week.”

Hiro can’t help but smile, and turned to go to the bathroom, but the impressions the dream left him—of losing someone important and beloved to him—still remains.

* * *

Later, after all the classes of the day was done and over with, Hiro waited for Julius in the coffee shop near campus, sitting in an empty table on their favourite corner with his world history textbook and a cup of iced cappuccino (which Julius somehow despised). Nana wasn’t on duty today since she said she had a group project to work on, which is a good thing, since Hiro doesn’t really feel like socialising with the others aside from Julius. 

“I’m sorry I’m late,” a familiar voice interrupted him, as always, and Hiro looked up from his textbook. “I got caught up in a bit of student organisation business,” Julius said, taking his place across him in the table, putting down his bag beside him and the coffee he’d ordered—espresso, always, which Hiro always teased him about—on the table in front of him. “How was the quiz?”

Hiro frowned, putting down the highlighter he was using to highlight the parts that he’d forgotten earlier during the quiz for a moment. 

“Not bad. But also, not good either. I forgot some things,” he told him, picking up the highlighter again and briefly read again, mentally, the passage he was highlighting before Julius arrived. 

“That’s what happens when you fell asleep halfway,” Julius said. “Though I suppose kudos is in order since you at least tried.”

“‘Since you at least tried,’” Hiro said, doing his best to imitate the other’s voice. “I did more than just _tried_. What, are you going to lecture me now?”

“Well, you could try not cramming everything in a single night—“

Hiro glared at him, though he didn’t really mean it, even if he kind of felt annoyed at him for a moment. This is what always happens: every time he tried to pull an all-nighter, his roommate would try and lecture him on the virtues of studying days before the quiz, as if anyone other than Julius would do that. 

As if anyone could be as perfect as him, although Hiro knows what kind of vulnerabilities he’s hiding. He sighed.

“Yeeeees, mom. Now can we talk about something else?” He told him, rolling his eyes and closing his textbook. There was probably no point in getting hung up over what has already passed anyway. At least he’s not doing too bad.

Julius bristled slightly at the ‘mom’ bit, but he didn’t say anything. He did always hated it when Hiro and the others called him that, which is why they teased him with it often. He took a sip of his coffee, unflinching despite the black, strong, bitterness that comes with the territory, and Hiro felt a certain kind of amusement for a moment. Most people would prefer either coffee or tea, but Julius couldn’t live without both. 

“Are you free this Saturday?” He finally asked, after a moment of silence passed between them. 

“Are you asking me out?” Hiro couldn’t help but tease him in return, smiling mischievously. The other boy seemed surprised for a moment, and perhaps he was indeed blushing for a bit, but that all passed too quickly, and Hiro couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.

“W- well, there’s this play that I’ve been wanting to see…”

“Sure thing,” Hiro told him, savouring Julius’s small, relieved smile, but he’s not done teasing him yet. “I’ll ask Romeo if he’s free too. And maybe Gil as well.”

Julius gave him his signature look then, complete with a disappointed frown.

Hiro burst out into a laugh. 

“No, no, obviously I’m just kidding. It’s just going to be the two of us,” he quickly reassured him, subconsciously reaching out to hold the other’s hand, which was resting on the table near his coffee. “Is that fine by you?”

“…that’s fine by me,” Julius said, evenly, though Hiro knows that he nearly gave the other a heart attack. It was at that moment that he realised that their hands are intertwined together atop the table. “God, Kamui. You are going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”

Hiro smiled at him, then, patting Julius’s hand before pulling away. He knows how much the other boy despised public displays of affection, though he couldn’t help but notice a small look of disappointment on his face when he pulled his hand away. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, giving him a shit-eating grin. “That’s just me, you know?”

“I know,” Julius said, nodding, looking away to the window for a moment. “I still think you hang out too much with Romeo and Gilbert.”

“And _you_ hang out too much with _me_ ,” Hiro said, shrugging and giving him a tiny smile. 

“It’s awful,” Julius said, taking another sip of his coffee. “I couldn’t help it.”

They shared a comfortable silence, as Hiro checked his mobile phone, and Julius took out the book he was reading. 

“—say, Kamui,” the older boy suddenly broke the silence, and Hiro looked up from what he’s doing. “Do you happen to like sweet things?”

“Hm? Yes, I do. What’s up?” He asked, still a little engrossed in playing a mobile game. 

There was a long pause that followed in which Julius shifted in his seat noticeably, and Hiro thought that he was going to reach for his bag, but he didn’t.

“…nothing. I was just asking,” he finally said, shifting his gaze back into his book, and Hiro thought, well, that’s that.

* * *

“Well, it’s raining…” 

Julius trailed off, after they both exited the coffee shop. It was almost spring, and the rains are getting more frequent. Unfortunately, Hiro thought, he forgot his umbrella. But there’s going to be no way in the world that Julius had forgotten his, so he looked towards the older expectantly.

He sighed, which would be dramatic in a movie, or at least, it’s quite dramatic coming from someone with his looks and grace.

“I think I forgot my umbrella,” he said, in a somewhat detached way, as if the rain wasn’t quite real, and Hiro wanted to shake him. He sighed, too.

“I can’t believe you forgot yours,” Hiro said, shaking his head. “You usually never forgot things like that, Julius.”

“I- I was unloading my bag last night,” Julius retorted, weakly. “I must have left it on my desk in my room.”

“So…what do we do now?” Hiro asked, looking up at the grey sky, pouring rain with all its might. It somehow dredges up memories from the dreams this morning, but the clouds and the rains are red instead of grey. It was an odd impression, an alien sensation, and he jerked out of it like he was having an out-of-body experience.

“We wait,” Julius told him, stating the obvious, though Hiro noticed that he was staring at him oddly. Had he somehow grown cat ears or something when he doesn’t realise it?

“What’s wrong?” Hiro finally asked, letting Julius pull him aside to the corner near the florist’s. 

“…you just seem a little out of it, Kamui. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Hiro automatically answered, knowing that it means Julius had noticed the way he looked at the sky earlier. “Don’t worry about me. Maybe we could use our coats as buffer and run to the train station?”

“Really,” Julius insisted, and Hiro belatedly noticed that he hasn’t let go of his arm. “What’s wrong? I noticed you were a little out of it this morning, as well. Was there something on your mind you’d like to talk about?”

It was so like Julius, Hiro thought wryly. To be so formal about it. He let out a long sigh, daringly pulling the other boy closer.

“It’s just the dreams I’ve told you about,” he shrugged, trying to be casual about it. “I saw…well, I saw plenty of things.”

Julius stared at him expectantly, then, concern written on his grey eyes. Hiro looked away, at the rain pounding mercilessly on the street in front of them. 

“As I said, I saw you,” he told him, feeling that his voice cracked a little, but he doesn’t care. “A- and…awful things happened. Bad things. I don’t remember the details,” he shrugged. “It was terrible. I never want to experience that ever again.”

There was silence, and he felt Julius’s hand on his hand, holding it, and Hiro couldn’t help but turn to look at him.

“Would you…like to sleep in my room tonight? Maybe then you wouldn’t have nightmares,” he offered, not unkindly, squeezing Hiro’s hand lightly, trying to reassure him. 

“Thanks,” Hiro said, a little surprised. Despite the fact that they lived together, and that they had a somewhat intimate relationship, Hiro had never slept in Julius’s room. It was always in his room, and Julius had never before offered something like this. It was something new, a gesture of trust and kindness that Hiro had never felt before from him. He offered the older boy a smile.

“Now, regarding your idea about us using our coats…”

Hiro laughed.

* * *

They ended up getting wet to the bone, and dripping water everywhere, when they arrived back in their apartment. They really did run through the rain with their coats over their heads—when he first met Julius, Hiro never thought that he would do something like this with him—laughing and exchanging secretive smiles. Hiro thought that he must have looked silly, with his coat over his head, but Julius—graceful and elegant as he was, even dripping wet with a coat over his head—never did mention it.

“We’ll have to clean the floor later on,” Hiro said, looking at all the water they dripped, closing and locking the door behind him. 

“ _Your_ turn,” Julius said, shedding his wet coat to the floor, only shaking slightly due to the cold. “I cleaned the bathroom last week.”

“That means I can have the bathroom first,” Hiro told him, following what Julius did, though, in his opinion, with a lot less grace. “I call first!”

He tried to run to the bathroom after he said that, but Julius is quicker than him, catching him by the arm and pushed him aside to the wall, his button-up shirt all dripping wet. 

“No, _I_ call first,” he said, and Hiro, too, caught him by the arm, but Julius reversed their positions somehow and he found himself being pinned to the wall by the shoulders. They stare at each other for a moment, only a little confused, their bodies dripping wet thanks to the rain, and Hiro would have never thought it, but Julius moved forward and kissed him on the lips—

He returned it, immediately, his body subconsciously moving towards his, pulling him closer by the hips, finding his warmth and the taste of his lips addictive. They kissed, for a while, savouring the moment, before Julius pulled away, and Hiro boldly pulled him back for one last kiss.

“Do you really?” Hiro teased him, toying with the topmost button of Julius’s shirt. “Call first, I mean. Obviously, there is the option of us going together…”

Julius smiled, a half-moon smile, but that was everything for Hiro. 

“Let’s go with that option. It seems like the most logical one to me,” he said, and Hiro laughed, again.

* * *

It ended up in a hazy shower scene, though with a lot of laughs, at least from Hiro’s part. Their intimacy has made them careless with each other—at least, once more, from Hiro’s part—and it made them sloppy, too, and bold, exploring each other’s bodies the way they had never did before, their hands and mouths and lips busy with discovering each other. 

It took them a lot longer in the shower together then they might have if they were alone, and they took their time, moving out of the shower languidly, almost as if they were a singular entity, instead of two different souls in two different bodies. They made love afterwards, properly, mostly because Julius insisted on it, for the first time in his room, and subsequently, they lie down together in his bed.

He felt comfortable, content, and he wondered if Julius felt the same, because that was how he felt every time they were together. 

“Let me put on some music,” Julius said, giving him a small smile, tangling his fingers in Hiro’s hair, caressing it lightly. 

“For atmosphere?” Hiro teased him, pulling him closer for a soft kiss on the lips. “One of your classicals? We’re done having sex, Julius, unless you insisted on a second round.”

“Think you can last a second round?” Julius said, with a rare, soft laugh accompanying it, and Hiro gave him a mock-pout in return. He laughed, again, ruffling his hair, before climbing off the bed, heading for his vinyl player across the room. “And no, it’s not one of my usuals. I think you’re going to like this one.”

“That’s rude. You’ve been with me a lot of times and I can even last three rounds if you really asked for it,” Hiro told him, exaggerating only slightly. Julius turned slightly to steal a look at him, giving him a secretive, mysterious smile, before slipping on a vinyl to the player. “Is this better?”

Hiro couldn’t help but smile, because it was his favourite song that he was putting on. 

“Yes,” he said, nodding. “But it’d be better if you were here with me,” he patted the Julius-shaped depression beside him on the bed. 

“Hold on a second,” Julius told him, reaching for his bag, which he puts on a chair in front of his desk. From Hiro’s perspective, he was fishing for something inside his bag. 

“Here,” Julius said, revealing that he was looking for an expensive-looking chocolate, wrapped in a red wrapping paper with a ribbon on it, a ribbon that reminded Hiro of his ribbon ties. He smiled, then, climbing into the bed and offering it to Hiro. “Happy Valentine’s Day…Hiro.”

Hiro took it with a smile in return, smiling back at him, and pulled him in for a kiss. He knows that it is a somewhat taboo subject between them, but he couldn’t help but ask. After all, they’d been going out for the last six months, and there is still no certainty between them. 

“Does this means…does this means we’re official? Julius?” Hiro asked, couldn’t help but look at the older boy expectantly, pulling himself to a sitting position. 

Something like a cloud of fear and doubt passes through Julius’s grey eyes, and for a moment Hiro was afraid the answer would be no, but the other boy gave him a reassuring smile.

“Yes,” he said, moving closer to him, Hiro’s favourite song playing in the background. “I’m…sorry it took me this long,” he continued, reaching for Hiro’s hand, playing with it absent-mindedly, lost in his thoughts for a moment. “I…have my own demons to contend with. I thought that…I thought that there is no way that you would love me back. But I…I love you, Hiro. And I want to be with you,” he said, his gaze piercing deep into Hiro’s eyes. 

Hiro felt…surprised, but pleasantly, and he turned Julius’s words over in his mind for a moment, treasuring it, hoping that he could somehow bottle the moment and relive it forever. He remembered, briefly, the dreams, the grief and the loss, and he felt fear gripping his heart, too—but…

But Julius was here, with him. And if the dreams means something, well…he gripped both the chocolate and Julius’s hand tightly, afraid of letting go of both, afraid that if he lets go, his dreams—no, nightmares—would come true.

“Hiro?” Julius asked, his expression turning into that of concern. “I- is that too much? I- I’m sorry-“

“No, no, it’s okay. I was just thinking…well, it was nothing. I love you too, Julius. And of course…” Hiro gave him a reassuring smile, since Julius now looked so worried. “I want to be with you, too.”

“Thank goodness,” Julius said with a gentle, relieved smile. “I thought that…I thought that it was too much. I thought that you wouldn’t return my feelings.”

It was a surprise, coming from _him_ , THE Julius Visconti, and the surprise must have shown in Hiro’s face, because the other boy looked sufficiently amused.

“Of course not,” Hiro said, vehemently. “Don’t be silly. Of course I return your feelings. I have, actually, for a while now.”

Julius laughed, a beautiful sound. Hiro wished that he could keep it forever, could hear it forever.

“That’s really good to hear. Thank goodness,” he said. “May I kiss you?”

“You didn’t need to ask,” Hiro told him, and Julius pulled him in, his lips meeting his. It was a soft, gentle kiss, though there was protectiveness underlying it, and Hiro returned it, tasting something bittersweet on Julius’s lips, espresso and rain, and maybe something that tasted a little like forever.

“I love you,” Hiro told him, afterwards, letting him hold him in his arms, promising to himself that he wouldn’t let himself lose him. That he wouldn’t let his stupid nightmares came true.

“I love you too, Hiro,” Julius murmured in return.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, comments and suggestions are welcome! <3


End file.
